I Sent a Client “Sorry!!!!”
The other day, I sent a client “Sorry!!!!” in chat.
Four exclamation marks. Any business etiquette instructor would flatline on the spot.
But it was calculated. “Sorry.” reads cold. “Sorry!” is neutral. “Sorry!!” starts to carry heat. Four marks is what it takes to land “I’m genuinely panicking here.”
Exclamation marks in text inflate like currency.
Last year’s ”!” and today’s ”!” have different purchasing power. Some people feel this instinctively. Others don’t.
Online Exposes Who You Are
“You can’t really connect unless it’s face-to-face.” You hear this a lot. It’s half a lie.
In-person meetings come with makeup. Business cards, suits, handshakes, the atmosphere of a room. Even without real substance, the vibe alone scores you 60 points. That’s the dirty secret of face-to-face.
Online strips all of that away. Over Zoom, only voice and words get through. In chat, just words. No filter. No concealer. Bare face.
Last week, I had an online kickoff with a new client. First meeting. Through a screen. Within 30 minutes, I knew this person was serious.
There Are Only Two Signals of Seriousness
The quality of their questions, and whether they share insider context. That’s it.
Serious people ask questions. Not surface-level ones you could Google in five seconds — questions that show they’ve done homework. “I’ve looked into this much, but this part…” There’s density in a question from someone who spent time preparing.
The other signal: they slip you insider context. “Actually, our CEO…” “Honestly, on the ground…” Sharing information that’s risky to reveal to someone you barely know. That’s a bet.
It’s behavioral proof of “I think you’re worth the risk.”
If all you get is safe, generic questions, they’re not serious. In golf terms, they showed up to the range, took a few practice swings, and went home.
Text Has No Filter
Social media profiles can be embellished. Resumes can be inflated. LinkedIn is an all-you-can-buff paradise.
Chat cannot be faked.
Real-time text is a collision of reflex and vocabulary. Which words you choose. How fast you reply. Whether you end with a period or an exclamation mark. All of it reveals the person. No prep time. No chance to revise. Your accumulated daily habits bleed straight through.
The Wall of “Acknowledged.”
The same “got it” carries wildly different temperatures. Hook up a text thermometer and you’ll see:
“Acknowledged.” — Below freezing. Zero emotion. The reply happened, but the door closed.
“Got it!” — Room temperature. Minimum viable warmth.
“Sounds good~!” — Mildly warm. This person seems easy to work with.
“Rgr!” — Point-blank range. Trust has been established.
Same meaning, different temperature. That’s the entirety of text-based communication.
People who mass-produce “Acknowledged.” every day are stacking bricks into a wall without realizing it.
This Industry Is Full of Amateurs
I’ll say it plainly. Too many people in this industry cannot put emotion into text.
Slack, Discord, email. Everything in the same flat, polite register. No temperature variation. No joy, anger, sadness, excitement. A nationwide weather forecast of 59°F and overcast.
“Task completed. Please review.” — Perfect as a report. Zero as a human being.
Putting emotion in text isn’t a technique. It’s not something you learn at a professional development seminar.
It’s how you reply to a friend on iMessage. How you text an apology to your partner. Whether you add an emoji when you check in on your mom. Those daily accumulations show up verbatim in your business chat.
If you can’t show personality in everyday messaging, you won’t magically develop it at work.
Text Reveals the Person
After 12 years of freelancing, I can gauge a new contact’s seriousness from their first chat exchange alone. Question quality. Message temperature. How they share context. It all shows up in text. You can’t hide it.
In a world where remote is the default, text is your business card, your handshake, and your first impression.
Can you type “Sorry!!!!” without flinching? Can you write “I messed up a little” with honesty? That alone changes whether the door to trust opens or stays shut.
By the way — that “Sorry!!!!” message? The reply came back: “No worries at all~!” The tilde and exclamation mark. A serious person.